Bring On The Bass Clarinet

July 20, 2011 - Apple Store SoHo - New York, NY

I honestly can't remember the last time (if there even was one) I experienced so much stress leading up to a TMBG show. The ridiculous hassle of having to acquire wristbands for the Apple Store shows in two different cities, the days before the shows was just about enough to drive me mad. We went from maybe having to drive to NYC two days in a row, to not having to, to having to again and actually changing around work schedules to accommodate the extra trip. And then ultimately didn't have to go in twice, thanks to the enormous generosity of a few friends and their extended families (Thanks once again, J&R and Gabby and company). There were brief moments of panic on Tuesday morning as I started receiving text updates from the wristband-acquiring friends about how they were putting the bands on people, thus making them non-transferable, only to once again have those fears laid to rest when it turned out they were able to slide them right off.

And all that stress continued right into Wednesday. Megan joined us early Wednesday morning to head into Boston to grab wristband set number two. It's a good thing these did not need to be transfered as neither Megan or Gary could have gotten theirs off. We briefly contemplated the possibility that we probably could have gotten into the NYC show all along with our Boston bands, as they were almost the same color, but we chose not to risk it. Then it was off to New Haven to pick up Kathy. Except I had a complete brain cramp while driving, forgot what road I was on and took a turn that ended up taking us a good 40 minutes out of our way. That was travel issue number one.

On to New Haven, plus one Kathy and a stop for lunch, we cruised towards NYC until we hit dead stand still traffic at the junction of 95 S and 295. The GPS claimed we were 20 minutes away from the Apple Store and yet it took us 45 minutes to creep a quarter mile past the junction and finally escape over the Triborough Bridge. Such was our elation when we finally broke free of the traffic, that we cued up Celebration on my brand spankin' new Join Us CD and blasted it loudly as we shot down I-278. That was travel issue number two.

Finally, in SoHo, mere blocks from our destination we were trapped at one intersection after another of gridlocked taxi cabs, blocking intersections, cutting us off and preventing turns. And our search for parking was slow and chewed up even more time. When we finally power walked down the side walk through sweltering heat towards the Apple Store (having survived travel issue number three), we were an hour and 15 minutes later than the GPS had originally indicated our arrival and a good two hours later than I had intended. All of our friends preceded us, a line had already started forming and we missed the open-to-the-rest-of-the-store soundcheck entirely. But you know, it all seemed pretty insignificant when I walked out from a desperately required trip to the bathroom (which was awkwardly located right next to the stage) and spied Linnell in the wings on the other side. That kind of just made everything OK.

The upside of arriving so late was not having to wait in line very long before we were allowed into the theater area. And it really was just an "area". At the top of the stairs to the second floor were five or six rows of chairs facing a little stage with a video screen behind it. All around the stairwell, customers tested out iPads and contemplated laying down a month's salary for a new MacBook, while we filed in prepared to enjoy a rock concert. It was a little incongruous. Our crew for this show was actually so large that John, Rebecca, Heather, Jim, TDK, Paul, Q, Megan, Gabby, Kathy, Gary and I virtually took over the first two rows. There were four seats reserved for press in the front row, directly in front of me, which were left empty so I actually had a virtually perfect view. The press never showed and eventually some fans seated further back moved up into the chairs about halfway through the show but so much of the set had already happened by that point it really didn't matter.

Lots of pre-show band member sightings before this show. I also spent the entire pre-concert time with a very intimidating picture of Linnell staring at me disapprovingly from the video screen. It was kind of a relief when it switched over to the Join Us cover when the show started. We received stickers with the Join Us cover art from an Apple Store employee as we were seated and quickly noticed that one of these same stickers was plastered on the front of the kick drum on the tiny, suitable-for-in-stores drum kit.





When the band finally took the stage, about an hour after we sat down, it was to some pretty raucous applause and cheers from the crowd, but I am pretty sure there was at least a portion of that crowd that was whooping specifically for the bass clarinet that Linnell walked in carrying. We had been promised the first live rendition of Cloisonné after all and it seemed we were not to be disappointed.

Flans had some initial trouble with his guitar and told Linnell to tell us a story. Linnell welcomed us to the most comfortable gig in NYC. For them. Flans offered us all use of the band's 10% Apple product discount they got while performing in the store so we could save $50 on our new "thermosy" style computers.

Flans made some jokes about the wristband process, asking us if we had all been security checked and essentially calling it out for being the annoying pain in the butt that it was. "It wasn't our idea. We were getting drinks at the genius bar." Linnell joked that the wristbands were for if you weren't drinking.  Flans: "We were using that smokable beer."



Linnell announced that they had a new album to many whoops from the audience. "It's been a long time coming and it'll be a long time before it goes." Flans asked us to hold our applause until the middle of the first song. Linnell commented that we wouldn't no when that was because we didn't know how long the song was but he said they would telegraph it to us and Flans said they'd just stop a few times.

They started with Never Knew Love. Linnell seemed to drag out the introduction a little bit, looking like he was about to come in then backing off and waiting another measure. I had noticed from the video of this song's premiere in London, that he had botched the backing vocal during Flansburgh's part a bit. He didn't exactly botch it here but they way he performs it is a little funny. Or, apparently, a lot funny if you are Dan Miller, since he cracked up as soon as Linnell started doing it. Linnell kind of tilts his head down and sings away from the mic with this kind of strained face. And I noticed that, at least when he's doing it live, he's not just singing "Ahhhhhhhh" as I thought but "loooooooooove".



They went straight into Fingertips. Flans dragged out the end of Everything Is Catching On Fire. Dan leaned in to do Fingertips and Flans wasn't done and added on a couple of extra "catching on fire"s at the end while Dan waited with a bemused look on his face. Flans ended up screaming the end of Wreck My Car and then had to clear his throat. During Heart Attack, Flans removed his glasses and did the "If I die before we freak" bit. Dan kind of went insane on the solo in Darkened Corridors, really dragging it out the last note. Then eventually he signaled Marty that he was in fact done. Prompting Flans to say that Dan was "telegraphing the most low key signals in the history of They Might Be Giants." Flans also said Dan was playing hippie guitar, which I assume was at least partially a reference to his rainbow striped Zoot Suit guitar.



Flans joked that they were doing a Thursday night show vibe and were going to have to tone it down. He said he was experiencing an uptown Apple Store lack of oxygen particles. "Have you guys been up there? Everything's kind of sticking to the ... It's like being on Mars." Then holding out his hands with an imaginary device in them: "Does this thing work with Yahoo? Cause I have Yahoo. This thing works with Yahoo right? This works with Yahoo....cause...." All of this in a kind of stoner accent. It might not telegraph well in text but it was actually hilarious.

Flans said that Paul Sahre is currently constructing a live size version of the pink hearse from the album cover. He said they don't know what they are going to do with it afterward and that they would be at the Genius Bar afterward asking some big questions. He suspected it would involve a trailer. I really hope this is true and that he wasn't joking because I would really like to see it. Secretly, I really hope that is what my $100 of IFC money went to pay for.

Flans introduced Johnny, calling it the "big single" off the album as said it would mean a lot to them if we bought it on iTunes. Linnell mentioned the contest winning video. Flans chimed in "speaking of smokable beer." "Once you have seen it you can't unsee it." He also made another joke about oxygen particles. Flans also asked if everything sounded ok. "Does it sound like we are singing right now?"

During this time Danny had been singling to the crew about getting something to raise his amp off the ground. They appeared with a trunk and proceeded to prop the amp on top of the trunk, wrapping a towel around one wheel to prevent it from rolling. Danny tested out the sound with something that sounded an awful lot like the Pink Panther theme. Flans eventually noticed this commotion and asked what they were doing. He expressed concern that the amp might roll off the trunk and suggested they tip it on it's side. Danny just locked the wheels though. Flans joked, "We've gone 450 days with no industrial accidents."



Linnell goofed the intro to Johnny a tiny bit on the keyboard but I was pretty impressed he managed it as well as he did. Flans played the accordion solo on the guitar.



They went straight into Twisting. Flans really screamed pretty intensely. Dan made one of his best ever faces. And they went straight from that into Ana Ng. Linnell did a rather techo sounding beginning on the keyboard which he brought back occasionally throughout the song. Linnell referred to it as a "very special Ana Ng." He asked if everything sounded ok too, commenting on some crazy reverb he was hearing on his voice that was blowing his mind. Flans said, "That's the sound of professional audio, John." Linnell chimed in, "Pro audio" and said they would be doing a presentation with powerpoint on the screen immediately after the show. Flans told us to hang on to our wristbands for that.



Flans also commented that he thought they should bring the fans to Boston. Linnell clarified that he meant the electric fans, but Flans thought it would be a good idea to bring some fans (the people sort) too. He warned us that it was a "two-day gauntlet" to get into the Boston show, one say for each wrist. Linnell added in a retina scan. I'm glad they admitted what a pain in the butt the wristband thing was because it really caused me more stress than I could really handle. I was tempted to hold up both my arms to show off the fact that I already had been double wristbanded but I wasn't sure anyone would see or get it.

The did Memo to Human Resources next. I discovered at the show that while I seem to be officially unsick of The Mesopotamians, I am still sick of this one (sorry, Meg).



Flans asked if the air conditioning could be turned on but Linnell joked that the controls were in Coopertino and an email would have to be sent and they would respond 3 hours later. Professor Linnell informed us that Borders controls all their air conditioning from Ann Arbor which they had learned the hard way. (I can tell you the other chain does this now as well). Flans joked about what a great business model that was. "First of all...books." Ouch, Flans. Ouch.



Flans did the intro to Alphabet of Nations in a really humorous voice. Dan had fun playing around with the keyboard part a bit. At one point he jazzed it up a little and Danny started laughing at him and dancing a little jig to the tune. I completely cracked up and looked around to see who else had noticed and NO ONE HAD. Except Kathy, thank goodness. Because that is just the kind of hilarious thing I would end up seeing that no one else would and there would be no one to back me up. But hopefully Kathy will, in this case, support me in the hilarity factor, cause, damn, that was funny.



Flans started practicing his back up part to You Probably Get That A Lot before they started singing. Linnell teased him saying there shouldn't be a seg. That they should do a cocktail hour. Flans said he was ready. Marty counted off the song and Dan started to play the opening notes backwards. He stopped and said, "I'm not." We all laughed. Gotta say, Dan got in some good quotes at this show. They did manage to start the song right on the second try. Linnell made some some really adorable faces while he was singing, kind of looking off to the side. And he did the "ly" right at the end which he hadn't quite done in London which I was super excited about as that is my favorite part.

On into Doctor Worm. Flans ended his back up part with "Doctor Worm, ya'll." I laughed again. Lots of stuff made me laugh at this show.



Flans started riffing on the phone hacking scandal in the UK, but I was far too distracted by what was going on center stage to pay attention. Because Linnell had picked up the bass clarinet which was exciting enough on it's own. Until Danny put down the bass and starting testing out the keyboard. Holy crap, says my brain. This is going to be AMAZING. And they did the first ever performance of Cloisonné with Linnell on bass clarinet and Danny on keyboard and Flans and Dan replicating the sax parts on guitar. And Flans did the raindrop voice perfectly. He messed up a lyric somehow, inserting the word "prideswax". But it didn't matter because it was incredible. And the outro sounded like nothing else ever. It was one of those things that a recording could never fully capture the awesomeness off, but there is one if you want to try and see if it successfully blows your mind. And when they finished Linnell said that they would be announcing the winner of the song after the show. Flans gave credit to the bass clarinet, "all the way from the basement."





Flans asked what they were playing next and Linnell said they had some song they were deeply familiar with and would be looking anywhere but at their hands. Flans interrupted to announce the Williamsburg show and talk about the openers. He told the parents to earmuff the kids, then said that Eugene Mirman has said "who the fuck wants to see comedy when there's 10,000 people." So there were going to be Jumbotons with Mirman's face on them. Linnell decreed that this would be 10 times funnier. I immediately wanted to quote the Jumbotron munny video. Flans said the show happens at night and that we were all going to go out "wilding" afterward. I look forward to this Flans.

And then they played Birdhouse, the song Linnell once declared they could still play even after someone cut off their heads. Definitely one they are "deeply familiar with."

Flans leaned over and told Marty to play the beginning to Clap Your Hands. Flans introduced the shortest song in the entire show at 1:26 and told us all to stand up while they performed it. Then he introduced Marty and Marty......started to play Judy Is Your Viet Nam. FAKE OUT. (Except not really for me because the 1:26 comment was a total tip off to me.) But he successfully faked out everyone else. I was super impressed at how Marty managed to make his four piece drum kit sound like a full blown rock set-up, but I wasn't truly paying attention to him. I was preparing myself to focus all my attention on Linnell to figure out what the heck the words to the backing vocal in the song were. They are, in case you were wondering, "Boughs of holly, multiplying. Christmastime is here." I was so excited about figuring this out (and texting Q down the row) that I forgot to watch the rest of the song. I was grinning stupidly while we moved to retake our seats and Danny looked at me and grinned back because I think I looked stupid happy. Except he probably thought I was excited about the song and not just that I had successfully lip read John Linnell. (P.S. The song was awesome.)

Flans commented that it was nice to see so many people singing along considering the album had been out a day. Linnell said it had been on Bit Torrent for weeks. Flans talked about how weird it was that at first it looked like the album had leaked to Bit Torrent and they were all mad thinking "which one of our friends did this to us." But it turned out to be a fake. Except he couldn't come up with the word fake or scam and called in a "spoof." Then he was impressed that their fans were so dedicated that they were protecting them with the fake downloaded. Until he realized that it was just a way to steal email addresses from Russia. "The whole thing was a hall of mirrors."

Linnell said the next song was about the Mesopotamians but it wasn't the one we were thinking of. "it's off the new album. Disappointing follow-up song." Flans chimed in, "It's called The Mesopotamians Got Married." But it was of course the regular one. Which it turns out I have actually missed. Woot.

Flans did an Elvis style "Thank you very much" and they left the stage briefly. Then just the band returned. Marty sat down on his stool with his chin propped on his drum sticks in a pose quite reminiscent of The Thinker, as he settled in to watch Dan doing a truly impressive Istanbul introduction. Danny eventually joined him. The Johns could be seen watching from the wings and I swear Flans was either changing his shirt or putting it back on after having removed an undershirt or something. Eventually the Johns joined them on stage and Flans had some trouble retrieving his guitar from behind Dan because Dan was too busy rocking.

Flans thanked us all for coming and thanked the Apple Store. He had us chant "Apple, Apple" briefly. "It could have been a Microsoft World." He mentioned the Brooklyn show again and warned us against bringing back packs. Then he introduced the band including "Dan Miller on the Mad Men IBM selectric guitar." All of this while the band riffed on the last bit of intro before the lyrics to Istanbul. Which they finally sang. And they did the fake backwards singing at the end which was just great and hilarious and perfect. They did the fake ending and Flans made us all stand up again. The band rocked out. Flans said we were the best audience a band could ever have. I hope he wasn't entirely just saying that.

Most of the people who had snuck into the press seats in front of us got all the setlists, but Megan did manage to acquire something super cool. It was labeled This Might Be A Stage Plot and was a little map of the way the stage is usually set up (though not tonight), with little pictures of the amps and drums and platforms. It was both adorable and informative.

We gathered with out massive group at the back of the group, chatting and socializing since we hadn't all been together in the rows to chat. Most of the members of the band were out and about signing things or saying hi to people and even though I had my new Join Us CD with me that I wanted signed, I felt funny about bothering them. I'm not sure why. Maybe just because so many other people were. Maybe because some of them were with their families. I don't know.

But when Dan Miller turned up signing for a few people over by the restroom, Megan asked if we should go see him and I said yes. Because Dan Miller has always been the elusive one for me so it seemed like a good opportunity to take advantage of. And plus, Megan has really been wanting to meet Dan. So we went over and waited our turn and me being a dork and never quite knowing what to say, I just held out my CD to him and said "Please." He commented that he hadn't actually seen the CD liner notes yet and asked if he could look at them. I said of course. He believe he said they looked pretty cool. He asked where I wanted him to sign and I said wherever he wanted. And he signed, "Thanks! Dan Miller." And I stepped aside for Megan. And this is the best part.

Megan hands him her Stage Plot and says "This is really exciting for me because you are the only member of the band I haven't met." And Dan is like, WELL THEN. And he shoved the thing and the marker under his arm, stuck out his hand for a hand shake and said "I'm Dan." Which was pretty much the best thing ever and has become THE quote of the entire show. Then he started talking about the stage plot and how it was ill advised and they had taken all the time to find the pictures on the internet and the thing was completely inaccurate. And he signed it with the D of his name circling Guitar World.

Meanwhile, I had looked back and realized that most of the rest of our friends had followed us and made a sizable little line behind us. I sais, "I'm sorry we kind of travel in a pack" and Dan looked up and realized all the people were there for the first time and looked a little started. He signed some stuff for the rest of our group but seemed super concerned that he was using my Sharpie. It seemed like he kept trying to give it back. I think maybe he thought I was waiting for it and not that I was also waiting for all of this large group of people that I was with. And besides, it was the Sharpie that I've now loaned to all the boys. The one that Marty flung at me at Town Hall. So I was actually stupidly excited that it got used by yet another member of the band.

We regrouped at the back of the room again and spotted Danny walking towards the stairs. There was this horrible, hilarious moment where our entire group took one surging step towards him and he looked at us with a smile of absolute terror, waved and fled down the stairs. We all laughed pretty hard at what a terrifying sight we must have been to a band member that was just trying to escape and go home.

And finally, Flans came out and got stopped by a few fans. He seemed resigned to getting stopped and even put all his stuff down to sign and pose for pictures. So we piled into line and delayed his escape even longer. Gabby got her Flexi signed. Flans seemed very excited to see it. Megan got her stage plot done. And I handed him my CD only to have him do the exact same thing as Dan. He said he hadn't seen it and asked if he could look at it. "Of course," I said again. He said he hadn't gotten a chance to see what kind of typos or errors were in the liner notes yet. Heather pointed out that Jim's name is in the digital notes twice. Flans seemed confused by this at first. I don't think he realized she was talking about one of us. I think he thought she was referring to some member of the band or crew. But he figured it out after we pointed at Jim and asked how the names had ended up organized. Heather confirmed that they were alphabetical and I chimed in, "by first name." "Well, that's friendly," he said. Rebecca came up to get her TMBG maternity shirt signed and Flans was super impressed. She told him she was carrying for someone else but had five of her own at home and I think she blew his mind. He had the most terrified/amazed look on his face and said, "Good luck with that." And he drew his traditional signature with the little face in it, also wearing a top hat. It was pretty adorable.

And finally we all left the Apple Store folks in peace. We had a mighty adventure driving Gabby home to NJ thanks to my psychotic GPS. Mention the name Streetballs to anyone who was in the car and watch them collapse in hilarity. We reached New Haven to drop Kathy off about midnight and finally arrived home again at about 2:30am. And then got up the next morning to do it all again, though decidedly closer to home.

There are a few more pictures from the show on Flickr as well as ones from Kathy, Megan and Gabby floating around (and Rebecca if your are on Facebook.) This was a truly incredible show, but I have to say as unbelievable as it was, I think Boston topped it. Hopefully, I'll have that recap done tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest.